


strawberries & chocolates

by momotakuchi



Category: Gintama
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, LMFAO - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Shameless Smut, Smut, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day smut, also this fanfic contains smut, don't ask why this has smut, it's already march now tho like wtaf, late valentine's day fic, let's all pretend it's still february, my brain just kinda went there, someone please beta read this or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:55:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momotakuchi/pseuds/momotakuchi
Summary: When Valentine's Day finally comes up on the calendar, Kagura gets herself ready to spend the day with the undeniably lucky Sadist. Unfortunately for her, she'd been reminded that the genre of their show was comedy. She shouldn't have expected smooth sailing. Despite the day being the 'Maiden's festival,' it wasn't exactly filled with romance and kisses at all. But instead, of chaperones, terrorists, and shitting gorillas.Can't a heroine catch a break?
Relationships: Kagura/Okita Sougo
Comments: 23
Kudos: 55





	strawberries & chocolates

**Author's Note:**

> Events happen a few weeks after Kanamara Matsuri.
> 
> Can be read independently.

Through the reflective surface of the grandiose looking glass, Kagura warily checked her appearance. She stood clad in her pink pajamas before the large mirror, eyes thoughtlessly darting about on her form. She stared right at her ocean eyes, as though waiting for her reflection to snap herself out of it. Imaginary 'ticks' of an imaginary clock rang soundly in her ears; she wasn't waiting for anything, in actuality, she was _preparing_ for something. And the thought of it was making her strangely... _nervous_.

She currently stood all alone in Soyo's lavish bedroom. Noticing nothing but the amber walls surrounding her, the large pile of shopping bags, _and the three boxes of chocolates that sat prominently on a stool by the mirror._ She rubbed her shoulders, _sighing_. The sun had just risen, allowing her to revel in the morning ambience after their small slumber party; she had been woken up early by the princess just so she can get _'all dolled up' since_ _today_ , after all, is a _special day_.

The maidens' festival— _Valentine's Day_.

Her first one with the _Sadist_.

She sighed again, looking at her reflection. _Was it really alright to go through with this idea?_ It didn't feel like it was their idea of spending Valentine's day... but she supposes it's _different_ this time around. Now he was her _boyfriend_. Soyo had practically killed her ears off, obsessively screaming the moment she'd found out about them, saying she had _'shipped'_ them since way back when... _Seriously, everyone seems to be a fan of something in this anime._

Sougo had just finished another mission the day before. It has been a whole week since they've last seen each other and she simply didn't know how to go about from there. They would've just hung out or sparred the moment they saw one another, or she might’ve just given him the box of chocolate-covered strawberries, but apparently that simply _'won't do_.’ So nowshe was going to go through what Soyo called ' _Valentine's day surprise for Okita-san.'_ She was even willing to pay for everything just for this date to happen.

She’d been invited to a shopping spree trip yesterday and had been woken up early from their sleepover all for _this_. _She couldn't believe herself._ She wasn't exactly sure _how_ the princess managed to persuade her into doing this, _but she was doing it_. _It's already too late to back out now_ , or so she says...

“ _Kagura-chan!”_

 _Speak of the devil_.

“ _May I come in?”_ Came Soyo's delicate voice from behind the shōji door.

“... Yes, sure!”

The door slid open, revealing the princess who looked to be carrying a sepia-colored box in her hands. Upon seeing Kagura's confused expression, Soyo told her, smiling rather innocently, “I just received the matching set I ordered from London! The outfits arrived just now.”

“... Soyo-chan, didn't we just buy a load of outfits yesterday?”

The princess only smiled at her, “yes! But they were only for everyday clothes; you and Okita-san need something more special.”

“Me and Sougo?”

_Squeal! “You two are already calling each other by your first names, I'm so happy...!”_

“Soyo-chan...”

“Okay! I'll stop...” She cleared her throat. “I've already had today's plans set out for the two of you, and Okita-san's set of clothes are being delivered to him as we speak, so you two are all prepared for today's Valentine's date!”

“Soyo-chan... are you sure about this...?”

“Of course, I am! I've been preparing this for weeks now.”

“ _Weeks!?_ ”

“Well, never mind that, we need to get you all pampered up!”

Without giving Kagura even a single room to give a reply, the princess ushered her to their private baths. While Soyo talked herself endlessly as they walked through the hallway, Kagura merely sported a face stricken with vacant impassiveness while she listened to the princess ramble on about this-and-that. They stopped before the bath's entrance.

“Here we are, Kagura-chan! Just let me know if you need anything!” The princess then turned to walk the other way.

And then she was left there.

For about thirty minutes, Kagura allowed herself to soak in the refreshing water of their classy private bath (which was quite fancy, if she were to point out, with its _larger-than-large pool-sized 'bathtub'_ ). She was dipped in heaps of soap froth and bubbles that smelled oddly of chocolate and vanilla. The shampoo she was putting on her hair too smelled of a _fragrant strawberry_. At this point the Sadist was going to be eating her like dessert...

She splashed her face with water, her body becoming hot all of a sudden. She murmured to herself unconvincingly, “c _alm your tits, you freaking sex maniac. This is only a date_...”

“ _Kagura-chan!_ ” _It was Soyo's voice,_ coming from somewhere outside. “ _Have you finished?”_

She exhaled. “Y... yes...! Just give me a minute to rinse myself!”

Her nerves were laced with a strange sense of nervousness and… _excitement_ … _Butterflies were crowding in her stomach already._ She breathed out a barely audible silent giggle, suddenly tickled pink.

Immediately after the bath, the _'pampering'_ then began. Kagura actually didn't pay any attention to what went on, all she knew was that a bunch of _foreign_ -looking _‘fashion experts’_ came on in and did their thing.

Everything happened in a daze, and she really wasn't sure why a supposedly lovely, and yet _simple_ holiday had to be spent in such an almost _grandiose_ manner. _It was as if she was actually preparing for his birthday or something..._ Wait, what was the surprise plan again?

“What's the Valentine's Day surprise again?” She asked absentmindedly, munching on the cucumbers that were previously resting on her eyes while someone filed her toe nails. _Was putting a type of gourd over their own eyes really a thing in other countries? Weird, but it’s appetizing, so whatever_ … They were in one of the castle's spare rooms, sitting comfortably on salon chairs that were conveniently available for them both. _It felt rather nice being treated like royalty around here, as the queen of Kabuki-cho should rightfully be treated_.

Soyo was apparently also preparing for Valentine's day, removing a piece of cucumber from her eye, smiling at her, “ _Eh?_ You've forgotten? Hmm… It can't be helped then; _well,_ first you two will arrive at the _Edo Dome City amusement park_ , _and then you...”_ Kagura had temporarily lost her hearing in that moment.

To her, it felt quite nice to be spending Valentine's day with your... _significant other_... Even though she had her Gin-chan and Patsuan to spend her day with, it's a little different now; she had the _Sadist_ , and even if he was a bastard, her inner _girly-girl_ felt utterly ecstatic that things were going the way it was. She doesn't usually play dress-up and go on _dates;_ it was something that she only liked to read in fashion magazines. And now _this_ was happening. She was gonna go on a Valentine’s day _date_ with him. A pretty blush spread on her cheeks as she got lost over the thought, not noticing Soyo already finishing with her short speal.

“... _All the tickets and reservations had already been prepared so there’s nothing to worry about_... _Oh, my_ … Kagura-chan... weren't you listening?”

“ _Hm?_ ” Said girl asked distractedly, chewing on the last bits of cucumber.

The princess giggled, “No, it's nothing. Looks like your excitement is distracting you.”

She halted. “... I-I'm not _excited_!”

The princess giggled again, the _shipper_ in her _amused,_ “ _Alright, whatever you say_.”

* * *

Sparkles danced marvelously all-over her form, _figuratively_ , though. After a whole two hours of pampering and maquillage, she was once again staring at herself through the large mirror, _this time_ dressed in the outfit Soyo had generously provided her with. Black heels, black stockings, a black pencil skirt, a black handbag, and a _stunning ruby-red_ off-the-shoulder top— _a small curtain of space right on her cleavage._

She must admit, it was a bit more provocative and modern than her usual wardrobe of _cheongsams._ It was uncomfortable, especially the stockings. Nevertheless, she was absolutely _delighted_. Her top’s fabric was made of this gorgeous velvety silk that felt _fantastic_ to the touch, her shoulders all bare and visible. Her long vermillion hair was tied up neatly into a high-ponytail, her lips garnished with a strawberry-colored tint, and her eyelids decorated with _bronze_ , and _gold_ , and bright _glitter_. _They even added a bit of eyeliner on her_.

She was _sparkling_. She wasn't one for vanity, but she couldn't deny the crystal-clear fact that she was quite a looker, especially with her current ensemble. She was stunning _and stunned_. Soyo had out-done herself a little too much.

Kagura was admiring the glittery handiwork they’ve done on her while the foreigner who _‘dolled her up’_ wiped a bead of sweat from their brow, “she didn’t need that much work as she’s already a beauty herself, but there you have it, Hime-sama; she’s all done.”

Flowers figuratively popped off of said princess as though she was slowly being consumed by her romantic excitement. “ _Kagura-chan!_ _You look super cute!_ ”

Kagura paused in her accolade. _Hmm... Cute._ Well, _yes,_ she agreed, _but is it cute enough to destroy his whole life?_ The sadist in her questioned. If his nose hasn't ran out of blood the exact moment he'd set his eyes on her, then she'll probably have to question if he actually had eyes at all.

“Thank you so much for doing such a great job, _Stylist-san!”_

“My name is Johnny, _Hime-sama_.”

“Alright, good-bye then, _Nameless background character-san!_ ”

“ _How cruel…!”_

The background characters were ushered out and the door was shut, leaving Kagura and Soyo in the room. And only then did she notice that her best friend was rather inconspicuously wearing a _black suit_ and a pair of heavily-tinted sunglasses.

She blinked, “What are you wearing?”

The princess turned to her, flashing her tinted shades against a nonexistent flash of light. “ _This?_ Why, this is my bodyguard attire, of course!”

… _Wait, what…?_

“Soyo-chan… am I hallucinating…? Is this actually Halloween?” Because as far as she’s concerned, Soyo was still Edo’s royalty. They were supposed to _hire_ guards for her, not dress her up as one. _She swears,_ sometimes she felt as though she's forced to become the _tsukkomi_ when her best friend was around. _Just what the hell was going on this time?_

“ _Silly_ , don’t worry; I’ve hired other bodyguards, you see.”

“Huh?”

_Boom!_

_… Huh…!?_

The shōji door was violently slammed open, revealing _two men_ dressed in similar sunglasses and black suits, both carrying a sniper in their hands while donning the most _gangster-like_ expression they could. They stood behind a black smog of explosion—a special effect of some sort—while they held a cigarette in between their snarling lips. The pair of glasses had an unlit cancer stick between his teeth while the one with a conspicuous mop of silver hair had a mere _imitation of a cigarette_ —a _lollipop_ in his mouth.

_Oh no._

_Gintoki_ flagrantly removed the candy from his mouth, spitting on the _tatami_ , attempting to utter in his most menacing tone, “ _Now, where is that damn boy, huh!?_ ”

He wasn’t intimidating at all.

_But son of a bitch... She’s sure they’re in for one hell of a rollercoaster ride._

* * *

_Yawn._

_Eight-thirty AM,_ he guesses was the time at the moment.

Pale sunlight was softly baring right at his perfectly sculpted face; turbulent rollercoaster clangor and various tones of feminine giggles resounded unwelcomely in his sensitive ears. _Curse his keen sense of hearing_. Indifferent eyes of a remarkable red simply gazed at the crowd of people entering the flamboyant theme park, forcibly ignoring all sort of commotion happening in the background. The carnival sounds accompanied the crowd chatter as he yawned again in the morning light.

_It was way too fucking early for all of this._

Sougo had just finished a week-long mission. After arriving at his apartment at exactly three in the morning, tattered and tired, he thought he’d be dozing off the whole day the moment he’d crawled inside his _futon_ , _but it looks like the princess of Edo had other plans for him._

 _Seven o’clock,_ he’d been dragged out of bed by one of the princess’ lackeys. Denied of the chance to even comprehend the situation, he had been forcefully dragged out of bed to get ready and wear this gaudy silk shirt and pants _‘by the order of the princess.’_ He can't even consider to be a reasonable enough excuse for the nameless bastard to _fucking break in and enter his apartment without permission_. So said lackey was stabbed rightfully in the asshole.

Now he was standing there, at _eight thirty-three in the morning_ wearing this _red and black get-up_ standing by the entrance of this hellish Edo Dome City, waiting for _China_ apparently.

On most normal days, he wouldn’t care less about whatever special event Edo had to offer, but because of the bold red of his silk shirt, he’d suddenly been reminded that today was _Valentine’s day_. _As if the couples that littered the theme park wasn’t enough of a reminder._

 _Was that why he was wearing this thing? Did she conspire with the princess to prepare this… date?_ The thought of it made a forlorn shyness fester in his chest.

_China? Plan an elaborate surprise for him? No way. That gorilla woman would wallow herself in her tsundere act first and foremost before giving him a half-eaten box of store-bought chocolates._

_… But he can’t say he wasn’t curious for whatever she had in store._

That woman better hurry it up, though. He was starting to notice a crowd inconspicuously forming around him.

Feminine chatter entered his ears left and right as he felt multiple eyes staring at him. He ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t letting a single emotion slip out of him, but _holy shit_ were these women starting to annoy him. They were pushing one another as though there wasn’t enough space in this humungous theme park, whispering and giggling, and sneaking blushing glances at him as if he wasn’t _right there_.

“ _U-umm… You’re Okita-san from the Shinsengumi, right?”_ A random girl suddenly entered his peripheral. He paid her no heed. “ _You look very handsome_ … Y-you know, I have always admired you from afar… _would_ … w-would you accept these chocolates, O-Okita-sa—"

_“Hahhh!? What is this, Souichirou-kun!? Cheating on our Kagura already, you bastard!?”_

Everyone collectively turned their heads to the aggressive scream. _Sougo didn’t even need to look to know who that was._ In an instant, anyone near the vicinity scrambled away as Sougo felt a knife against his throat. To any bystander, the man behind him would seem to be exuding lethal killing intent, but to him, it just looked to be an extreme… _(fatherly)_ irritation.

“Good morning to you too, _Danna_. By the way, it’s ‘Sougo.’”

The older man ignored his retort, firmly clutching onto Sougo’s shoulder as he gripped the knife tighter. “ _Bastard_ … do you think you can just _get away_ after starting your own harem!? Kagura… _What would Kagura think_ _!?_ ”

“What harem?”

 _“The group of_ _—! Huh…?”_ The white-haired man turned his head, finding nearly no one in the vicinity. A tumbleweed passed through by perfect comedic timing. Insulted, Gintoki’s hold on the knife momentarily fumbled, but his grip came back immediately after. _“Where the hell did you hide them Soichi_ _—!”_

He spat blood.

“ _That’s enough, Gin-chan_ ,” came Kagura’s familiar voice as she dug the tip of a heart-shaped box right on her foster father’s crown. The man went down, knocked out pathetically.

The sweet aroma of chocolates and strawberries wafted through his nose, startling his senses. Sougo turned to look at his girlfriend, his eyes landing on a pretty girl. A… _ridiculously pretty… vermillion-haired_ girl… Wait, _China…?_

His eyes met contact with her familiar sapphire ones; though framed with a distinct glint of shimmering gold, it reaffirmed that the scintillating beauty who stood before him was _in fact_ his beloved brat.

His words were caught in his throat, _speechless_. Never would he have thought that he’d someday experience what it’s like to be stuck in a plane of _shoujo bubbles_. She’d worn a different outfit from the kind she usually wears, and it was of a fine red and black, the same colors he was currently wearing. Her long hair was tied up differently too… _And she smelled like dessert…_ His face caught heat, blush on his cheeks. She was doing the same.

“S-surprise…” She said in her uncharacteristically cute voice. “Um, aren’t you going to say something to your cute girlfriend, huh…?”

He was snapped out of his trance.

“Yeah. _China_ , today… you…”

 _Her eyes sparkled_. “Yes…?”

“Today you…” _look like a goddess._ “…look less like your usual gorilla self…”

_Silence._

_Shit. That came our wrong._

But his dam of a mouth had already been let loose. Kagura was fuming in silence, a monster of an expression etching onto what was previously a delicate doll-like face. _“….. Oh?”_

He held his hands up to calm her down. “W-wait, China. That came out wrong, let me do that again.”

_She let him do a take two._

“ _China_ , today… you sparkle like a red beryl crystal even more beautiful than usual.”

His eyes slowly darted to the side in apprehension; _she exhaled_.

“… I suppose that’ll do coming from a _tsundere like you_.” He felt a vein pop. She looked him up and down, _then blushed_. “… You look handsome by the way…”

“I always have been.”

He saw a vein pop on her face. “ _Bastard_ … Well, _whatever_ … here’s some _chocolate_ s… f-for you…”

He turned his head back to her, seeing her slowly hand him a red _heart-shaped box_ , with two other boxes secured in her other arm. His heart pulsated soundly against his chest as he faked a cough, pressing a fist against his mouth. _She really did prepare chocolates for him_. He looked at her; she was shyly looking away... _Cute_.

He was just about to accept them when another pair of hands seized her wrists, proceeding to hit his cheek with the box. Sougo was knocked to the ground.

 _It seems t_ _he Yorozuya Danna had come back to life._

 _“Gin-san…!”_ He heard the glasses boy running towards them, along with the princess, both of whom were _unexpectedly_ wearing suits. _The Yorozuya Danna_ _(who was also sporting a black suit, he noted)_ merely ignored him.

 _“Watch your nose, boy. You’re standing before her father.”_ Sougo wiped his nose, and sure enough, it was bleeding. _Must’ve been from the impact_. Gintoki turned to his _‘daughter.’ “You shouldn’t give chocolates to a sadist like him, Kagura.”_

Sougo stood up, suddenly looking unscathed. “Well, I _am_ her boyfriend, Danna.”

“ _No…!_ Our Kagura-chan doesn't have a boyfriend! She's a single independent young flower who has yet to bloom!”

“Sorry to say, but she's already been deflower—”

 _“_ No, no, no. _No! I don't allow it...!”_

“… Gin-chan shut up.” The two men turned their heads to Kagura who was pinching the space between her brows, obviously annoyed. Shinpachi and Soyo had finally caught up to them at that moment.

“ _Kagura! No,_ do you even have any idea how dangerous boys like him are!? Look at you, why are you even dressed in that!? _You’re practically naked!”_ Kagura merely gave him _a look_.

“Gin-san, you’re being over-excessive.” Shinpachi commented.

“That’s right, Gin-san. I don’t think the stylists went over-board; it’s just the right balance of conservative and sexiness, in my opinion.” The princess said, _and Sougo couldn’t help but agree_. Kagura had been dressed completely from head to toe—the enticing black stockings covered her pale legs entirely. _Her crimson top, though, was a different matter_. Her collar bones were fully displayed for the world to see; pale, flushed shoulders—bruising a lovely peach color—just looked as though they were _begging_ to be peppered with kisses. Not to mention the cleavage window right on her chest, held together flimsily by a crimson string, _waiting to be untied_.

 _He didn’t think Kagura could ever get even more alluring, but there she was proving him wrong_. The princess had surprisingly done a masterful job.

 _“Look at him!_ He’s staring at your shoulders and you’re _allowing_ him? _Whatever happened to punching and kicking!?”_

Kagura rolled her eyes, pressing the half-forgotten box of chocolates onto Sougo’s chest, “We still do that, Gin-chan. It’s just that he’s my boyfriend now.”

Mentioning the word _‘boyfriend’_ to her father figure seemed to have triggered a reaction out of him. The man made a pettily sarcastic expression, eyes practically popping out of their sockets. “B-boyfriend… _Bastard… That’s the same thing, and that is bad for you!”_

His logic seemed to become more and more flawed as the seconds passed.

“And… _and… and_ _It's unfair that a younger_ , fellow sadist like _him_ gets _three boxes of chocolates_ from our Kagura-chan while we get _nothing_ _!_ ”

_“Oi! That’s what this is about!?” That was Shinpachi._

Kagura sighed.

“… Idiots.” Kagura slowly handed the other two boxes to them. “… T-these other two are specifically for _you two,_ dummies…”

As if having a sudden change of heart, the shoujo bubbles came back, this time surrounding the _Yorozuya trio_ as the two men wore blithe expressions on their faces, almost as though they’ve been hit with a mood-changing ‘ _Valentine’s Day chocolates’_ drug.

Sougo deadpanned, munching on the chocolate-covered strawberries he was given, which, _somehow,_ tasted unfairly bitter. The princess only smiled next to him as they watched the whole thing play out.

 _It was only nine o’clock in the morning and the Yorozuya had already made quite the commotion… Today was going to be a long day_...

* * *

“China.”

“What.”

“Care to explain to me why your _bodyguards_ are still tailing us?”

The couple discreetly glanced behind them; the three _‘bodyguards’_ were walking in unison behind the pair, almost seeming like they’ve rehearsed it, with their identical uniforms and sunshades. Gintoki and Shinpachi were entirely expressionless, though the snipers they still carried so notably was quite telling of how serious they were taking the 'job.' The _Yorozuya Danna_ carried a newly unwrapped lollipop in his mouth, with the tip of the stick smoking for some convoluted reason. The princess of Edo, on the hand, merely carried a camera, pressing on the shutter every now and then with a suspiciously pleasant smile on her face. Sougo and Kagura averted their gazes back to the front, deadpanning in a sarcastic silence.

The three of them had been at their tail for about _five hours_ now. They thought they’d disperse sometime after they’ve been given chocolates, but that wasn’t the case. Whether it be waiting in long lines or going on the rides, those three had stubbornly kept a close lookout. It’s almost amazing how they managed to suck the fun out of the rides by just being… _there_.

_‘Seems like giving them both a box of chocolates wasn’t enough to get them off their backs._

“… They said I needed chaperones so I don’t ever go _‘missing’_.”

“They know you don’t need it.”

“They know I don’t need it.”

“… And the princess?”

_“Well…”_

“Okita-san! Kagura-chan!” The princess walked up towards them. They both stopped to turn. “Would you mind posing for just a moment?”

 _“Huh?”_ They both uttered.

“I just realized I need to capture pictures of you two; this is a _very_ special date after all!” _Smile._

_… Wasn’t she already taking thousands of pictures though?_

Sougo turned to look at Kagura, she was making a face that told him _‘do it. She’s the one paying for all of this, so do it. Or else.’_ Sougo mentally rolled his eyes.

“… Understood, _Hime-same_. Where should we take this picture?”

“Let’s see…” The princess glanced around the park. _Anywhere would honestly suffice_ ; the amusement park was _littered_ with colorful Valentine’s Day decorations, with heart-shaped banners hung up in the sky and dozens of balloons of a similar shape. Numerous couples had infiltrated the hearts’ land because its whole theme. _It was almost surprising that neither Danna or glasses boy hadn’t lost their composure just by the mere sight of it._

… The princess was still making her arbitrary decision, though he hopes she doesn’t dwell on it for too long; he was starting to feel like a middle school student whose mom insisted on taking pictures of him in his new school uniform. “ _Umm_ … how about over there.”

Soyo pointed to a rather empty spot by the center of the park where a landmark seemed to have been placed— _a flower patch,_ it seemed like _, with a rose bush sculpture right in the middle,_ all enclosed by a cemented barrier. Various theme park attractions served as decorations behind it, from the rollercoaster, to the oddly gleaming Ferris wheel. The princess excitedly ushered them towards it. They wordlessly followed.

They placidly stood side by side, waiting for the click of the camera while Soyo took her time adjusting herself to a position.

 _Taking a picture with China shouldn’t be that much of a foreign concept to him… but it was._ They were quite awkward, standing rigidly next to each other. He side-eyed his girlfriend—she was making a soft, continuous, droning sound in her throat, her eyes sparkling strangely. Her cheeks tinged with pink when she heard the camera’s shutter sounds. It was clear that she wasn’t used to taking her picture, _but why was she getting embarrassed?_

 _… Who was he kidding?_ He was also feeling a little bit chary. This was a first for them, _but they were already in a romantic relationship for god’s sake. They weren’t high school sweethearts or anything_ ; they were _viciously savage brutes… So what was this blushing about?_ He was a fucking sadist _. Was this some sick form of masochistic punishment on him? Absolutely disgusting. The perpetrator should be punished intensively for doing this to a sadist like him._

“Hmm…” The perpetrator looked up from her camera (he suddenly realized he can’t really do anything about the situation). “Okita-san, Kagura-chan, you two are a bit stiff; would you mind posing a bit better…?”

_What was this, a photo op?_

He exhaled, glancing at Kagura. One eye-contact and they’ve agreed over the simple idea of joining their hands together. _So they did just that._ She awkwardly waddled sideways, getting closer as she tentatively reached out for his hand. He felt her cold fingers touch his skin, jolting him a bit. He responded by slowly taking her smaller hand with his, intertwining their fingers and _flawlessly interweaving them_. They both swiftly turned their heads the other way, cheeks growing red.

Shinpachi’s glasses cracked. Gintoki accidentally bit off the lollipop stick. And the princess simply spun in delight, allegorical pops of flowers bursting out of her as she clicked on the shutter about a hundred times per second. _Their cheeks grew redder_. It didn’t help that other people were starting to notice them as well.

_“Who are they? Are they celebrities?”_

_“'Don’t know, but they seem like it.”_

_“Oh my, look at those two! They look really cute.”_

_“I knew we should’ve worn matching clothes.”_

_“I’m jealous… they’re such a hot couple…”_

Kagura was shaking in embarrassment beside him; he would’ve laughed at her, but he was feeling the exact same way... _though he was trying not to show it on his face too much._ They’ve already held hands together before, but for some reason, doing it so publicly and openly was _embarrassing_. He couldn’t believe the simple display of affection was even more troublesome than doing the nooky. It might take them time to get used to. _Although, it might take even longer than that_ …

When Kagura couldn’t take much more of it, she violently shook his hand off, pointing rather accusingly at him. _“P-Punk Chihuahua! D-don’t touch a maiden’s hand when yours are all gross and sweaty...!”_

He felt a vein pop. _“Huh? Maiden!? What the hell are you even talking about? It’s your hand that’s sweating, you Yato! Sadists don’t sweat.”_

_“N-not true! Just look at Gin-chan, his clothes are always smelly and drenched in sweat even when all he does is play Pachinko!”_

“ _Oi!_ _Brat!_ That was uncalled for!”

They stubbornly turned their heads the other way, uttering a _‘humph!’_ in unison, cheeks still red.

“… Gin-san, maybe we don’t need to chaperone them after all…”

“Nonsense, Patsuan. They’re just doing ruse to catch us off-guard; _don’t fall for it!_ ”

_And as if things couldn’t get any worse…_

“ _Yo, Yorozuya!_ What are you doing here?”

His superiors made their way into the scene _uninvitedly_.

“Ah, Hijikata-san, Kondo-san, you’re here too?”

“ _Pft._ Shinpachi, careful now, they’re probably here on a date because no girl wanted to give them any chocolates.”

_“Oi, that can also apply to you too, you suit-wearing morons.”_

“… So what are you two doing here?”

“Because Otae-san is here!”

Hijikata blew smoke from his cigarette. “… Don’t get the wrong idea, we’re only here on a patrol shift; plus, we heard a celebrity was here, so we came to see who it was.”

“Ah, Hijikata-san, that’s too bad.” They all turned to Soyo. “You just missed them.”

As if hit by a bolt from the blue, Gintoki turned frantically, unable to spot any signs of Kagura and Sougo in the open. _They’ve disappeared_.

“ _Oi! What have you done, you nicotine freak!?”_

_“What the hell did I do!?”_

“ _We’ve lost them!_ Let’s go Patsuan, we need to stop them before they do the hanky-panky without protection!”

_“Who the hell is ‘them’!?”_

* * *

Finally managing to get away from the overbearing trio, Kagura and Sougo walked hand-in-hand through the theme park.

 _It’s the same old scenario_ — _the Shinsengumi and the Yorozuya meeting by dubious coincidence, and the two having to watch them do the same slapstick for the umpteenth time._ They could maybe join in on the comedic charade, but sometimes it’s just best to leave them alone. After all, this was a _date_ , and as much as she loved her family’s absurd humor, dates didn’t require a bunch of third-wheels tailing them every step of the way.

She thought they’d be more _open-arms_ with their relationship as they’ve known Sougo since forever, but she supposes no amount of oversight can alleviate a father’s overprotection. They must’ve been traumatized by the first time she was left alone with the Sadist while they had been around. The last time it happened, they’ve suddenly come out as a couple. _Who knows what’ll happen this time? Nothing probably._

Kagura glanced at Sougo. She could tell by the way he strongly held her hand that he was _pissed_. She suddenly remembered that he had just come back from a mission, and instead of resting right now, he’d been forced to go on a date with her and her chaperones. The thought made her guilty all too suddenly.

She tugged on his hand, effectively stopping him.

He turned to her. “What’s wrong, China?”

“Um… are you hungry…?”

He blinked. “… As a matter of fact, I am. Is there someplace you wanted to eat?”

“Yes…” She pulled his hand towards the other direction. “Soyo-chan also gave me free passes to this all-you-can-eat restaurant.”

He laughed soundly.

“… What? I’m starving right now…”

“Glutton,” he said, voice full of fondness. She only gave him a half-hearted, annoyed glance.

The fact that it was just the two of them now made hand-holding all the more intimate and less… embarrassing. It was simply them two—away from inquisitive eyes. The way they walked side by side made it feel like an actual romantic date, and it made her _happy_. _They were wearing matching colors too_. He looked especially more handsome today in that low neckline silk shirt. The pants made his ass look amazing as well. She didn’t realize it could look _that_ juicy. Although covered by his black pants, his butt and thighs had been practically _outlined_ by its tightness—the thick, sexy muscle looking so… delicious… _He should really wear tighter clothes more; his work pants don’t do him justice._

He squeezed her hand. “What are you thinking about?”

She flinched, feeling like a voyeur caught in the act. “ _Um…_ _N-nothing_ , bastard…”

Sougo merely gave her a side-glance, as if he completely saw through her. “Don’t worry, China.” He let go of her hand, proceeding to squeeze her butt. “Your ass looks amazing in that tight skirt too.”

“Idiot, don’t do that kind of shit out here!" She slapped his hand. _“_ _And I really wasn’t thinking of anything!_ ”

“Sure you didn’t.”

 _How smug of him._ Sometimes, she felt naked under that gaze of his, even when she was completely covered in layers of clothing. It might be because he can read her like an open book, or he has mind-reading abilities. The latter honestly seems entirely plausible; he’d done many supernaturally cunning deeds in the past. It really wouldn’t be that surprising if he can actually drain her off of her _Yato_ abilities… _Wait, is he actually doing that? He might be every time they have sex. Is that how he’s managing to keep up with her nowadays? Holy shit._

“I just felt you stare intensely at my ass, China. No need to think that deeply about it.”

She pointed an accusing look at him. “Don’t think you can fool me with that crap! How do you explain consuming the _Maganagi_ sword _then_ , _huh_!?”

“There’s nothing to explain.” _Likely story._ Then they stopped. “We’re here, China.”

They stopped before an elaborately designed architecture, with a giant sculpture of words that spelled out _‘Edo Dome Buffet’_ right at the front.

“… Were you actually leading me here, or was it the other way around?”

“Shut up… I was doing some important thinking…”

“Thinking about my ass?”

“ _Shut up!”_

They entered the establishment, greeted with the onslaught of chatter along with the sharp sounds of utensil against plate. The outside air was rather humid, and so the blast of air conditioning inside felt refreshing on the skin. The aroma of food whirled in the air and entered her nostrils. Drool started escaping her mouth immediately.

“Welcome, dear customers. Table for two?”

They turned to the voice that spoke— _it was a woman, that owned a strangely familiar male voice._ At first glance, they might seem to be part of the waiting staff, but then Kagura glanced down on their name tag. ‘ _Zurako,’_ it said.

_What the hell is he doing here…_

_… All the idiots in Edo are trying to ruin their date, she just knows it._

“ _Oh,_ Leader! What are you doing here?”

Sougo impassively glanced at her. “… Do you know this person, China?”

 _Thank god for her idiot boyfriend’s stupidity_. Despite being sharp and sensible in most situations, he somehow doesn’t recognize Katsura whenever he’s in some sort of ridiculous disguise. _What was he, prince charming? Not recognizing Cinderella and choosing to find her by foot size instead of just remembering her face?_ This is why the _Shinsengumi_ fails tremendously in a lot of things.

She let out a nervous laugh. “ _Ahahaha_ … I think he’s… _she’s_ one of Gin-chan’s flings. Is that right, Z… _Zurako-san…_?”

“ _How rude._ It’s not ‘Zurako,’ it’s Katsu _—”_ Kagura kicked him in the face before he managed to finish his sentence.

_She supposes there’s really no point in covering for him anyway though._

The man staggered to get up, arduously reaching his hand out. Instead of helping, Kagura wordlessly reached into her handbag and put their tickets in his hand, then simply strolled unsympathetically into the main lobby. While they walked, a duck-penguin-looking mascot wearing staff clothing dashed past them, carrying a placard that said ‘Katsura-san!’

“China.”

“What.”

“What the hell was that?”

“… I don’t know. Just ignore it, Sadist.”

“Alright.”

Kagura lead him straight to the large array of buffet tables, filled with numerous kinds of food and delicacies, from meat, to seafood, to, desserts, to candy. _There was even a chocolate fountain,_ accompanied by the various heart-shaped goods that surrounded it. _Well, it was Valentine’s Day after all_.

Her cerulean eyes sparkled in delight, her mouth gushing a waterfall of hungry drool. Sougo merely braced himself for seeing his girlfriend transform into a food vacuum.

* * *

_… Saying she decimated the whole buffet table was an understatement._

She was no simple food vacuum. She was a fucking food _black hole_.

After managing to gather every single piece of food that she can get her hands on, she managed to devour all of that in under two hours _or less_. Sure there was a lot of back-and-forth from their table to the various food stations… _but it didn’t matter_. _The food was delicious._ She honestly doesn’t get how Sougo only managed to get himself a few servings of _sushi_.

She burped, patting on her protruding belly. “You’re so pathetic, Chihuahua. Is your _samurai_ stomach limited in storage space or something?”

He looked at her stonily as he subsequently cleaned his own plate. “It has to be, China doll. Men don’t get pregnant.”

“I’m not pregnant!?”

“Soon.”

“What. _What the hell are you even talking about?_ ”

_“Oh, Zura. What are you doing here?”_

They both stilled, hearing Gintoki’s voice coming from a couple meters away from them.

“ _Ah, Gintoki,_ nice to see you here, too… You know, that’s funny, I also asked _Leader_ the same question. It looked like she was on a date with that _Bakufu dog_.”

“ _Kagura!?_ Where is she!?”

“Well, she— _oh…_ They were there just there a minute ago…”

Kagura and Sougo managed to do the mysterious act of disappearing for the second time. They hastily escaped through the backdoor, suddenly all tensed up and anxious (her previously bulging stomach also _probably_ disappeared because of the anxiety she felt).

… This was beginning to turn into a timorous game of cat and mouse, leaving them little to no room for their quality _date_ time. _It was really starting to peeve her._ Now she truly understands how their clients feel whenever they get involved in Yorozuya’s hijinks

They rested by a concession stand. He exhaled. “What do you want to do now, China?”

She huffed. “... W… Wanna go ride the rollercoaster again?”

“ _Doll,_ we just ate.” She rolled her eyes.

“Fine, I guess we can try for the haunted house next.” She then dragged Sougo by the arm to seek refuge in the Haunted Mansion ride. They stood before its entrance, staring at the manor in brief silence. Both of them weren’t easily frightened, but they knew _Gintoki_ wouldn’t try and go search for them there. _She could also try and latch onto his arm for a more heightened romantic experience (disregarding the wrong atmosphere)._

“… Make sure you don’t accidentally grab my arm in fear, Sadist, _pft_.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?”

“Do you want me to distance myself from you then?”

“ _I didn’t say that_. You can cling to me as much as you want, like the _tsundere_ you are.”

“ _You’re the tsundere, dumbass.”_

After a short while of them waiting in line, it was now their batch’s turn for the ride. The waiting area had been dark, but there wasn’t a single bone in their bodies that felt any sense of dread, just relief that they can finally be alone. Though if they had actually been the cowardly types, there _were_ some petrified _(and familiar)_ voices that provided entertainment for the whole group. Kagura had tuned them out though, they were starting to get vexing.

When the attendant showed them to the boats, Kagura gladly went in first. She assumed Sougo immediately followed in suit, so she’d been left making a flabbergasted expression when she turned her head and saw _Kondo_ occupying the seat next to her. Having no time to exchange companions, the boat suddenly went off.

He shook pathetically in his seat when nothing was really even happening yet. He cautiously raised his hand to greet her. “Y-yo, C-China-san...”

_Why, god…_

_She felt like ascending into the afterlife._

Meanwhile Hijikata found himself in the seat next to Sougo. Although seemingly nonchalant, the poor man felt every kind of fear attack his body—His fear off ghosts, and _fear for his life._

Sougo looked at him with a thinly veiled mask of displeasure. His words were darkly coated as he uttered, _“good luck on your ride, Hijikata-san.”_

Literal Hell would probably be better than being strapped in the same boat with the devil incarnation himself.

_In that moment, Hijikata felt like descending into the afterlife._

* * *

_Groan_.

They didn’t get the chance to enjoy the Haunted Mansion ride as well because of, yet again, _another inconvenience. Fifteen minutes of their time had been wasted._

For the whole ride, Kagura just stared—with dead eyes—at all the ghosts and demons the ride threw up on her face. _She’s got to say though, the special effects were quite impressive._ But the _gorilla_ right next to her has quite literally been _shitting himself_ and absolutely no amount of impressiveness can make up for that disturbing ordeal. He tried hard to conceal it, but to no avail. _She’d already been made even more pissed to the point of temporarily ascending into the afterlife._

“How was the ride, China?” Sougo asked as they walked away from the disappointing ride.

“It was boring,” she said, glancing over to her companion sitting limp on his side of the boat, looking almost lifeless. The theme park workers rushed to his side. _The ride had been deathly boring,_ but she somehow managed to find fun in it regardless, all thanks to the gorilla. Kagura had almost fallen asleep, but with the Shinsengumi commander hilariously scaring himself to death, she succeeded on staying awake. _At least he gave some form of entertainment besides shitting himself_. “… What about you?”

He shrugged. “It was pretty fun.” She could _clearly_ tell that with the way Hijikata’s tormented voice resounded throughout the tunnel ride. In the end, the man came out _even more dead_ than the gorilla had been. Sougo must’ve done an assassination attempt again.

She does wonder why the two decided to go on the ride when they were that terrified. It’s either a fucked-up coincidence, or Gintoki’s dad powers were so extreme that the Mayoman and gorilla were basically forced to intervene.

She could’ve done the whole _grabbing-his-arm-out-of-fear_ thing, but no.

She sighed. “I would’ve liked it if it was you who shitted his pants beside me though.”

He chuckled mirthlessly. “Are you kidding? My anal sphincter isn’t as weak as Kondo-san’s. Plus, with the amount of food you ate earlier, it’s you who’ll be shitting.”

“I don’t _shit_ , bastard! Don’t say that to a girl. _I vomit!_ ”

“That’s not any better.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes it is.”

“No.”

 _Silence_.

Then they began walking, their feet dragging them towards the direction of the gigantic Ferris wheel, with Kagura latching onto his arm, resting her cheek on his bicep. The Haunted Mansion ride might’ve been a complete disappointment, but she supposes being able to casually cling to him like that can more than make up for it. They shared a comfortable silence, just strolling on the park grounds, looking over the happy-go-lucky theme park scene (while also looking out for the bodyguard trio). They breathed the chill breeze that sifted through their flaxen and vermillion locks, revivifying fresh air evading their lungs. They both exhaled, _slowly_ , briefly feeling the warm mood of the crisp golden hour.

Kagura looked over at the giant wheel that towered over the park. Her eyes twinkled. “Hey, Sadist?”

He hummed lowly in question.

“Do you know what the most ideal place is for a first kiss?”

“In the Ferris wheel?”

“In the Ferris— _How did you know!?”_

“It was written all over you face, China.”

“Dumbass, you weren’t even looking at my face… _Well,_ yes, you’re correct anyway… I read it in a fashion magazine. They say the most perfect moment is inside the Ferris wheel… right at the moment it comes up at the top…”

“We’ve already kissed plenty of times though, we’ve also already fucked plenty.”

She felt a vein pop. “Would it kill you for a little bit of romance?”

“Sex is romantic.”

“You’re such a sex freak.”

He didn’t reply.

All of a sudden and without warning, she felt him sneak an arm around her waist. He forced their eyes to meet by putting his hand under her chin. Their noses were almost touching. “China doll, that’s hypocrisy; don’t think I won’t notice the lack of underwear underneath that outfit of yours.”

He tugged on the long strand of ribbon dangling from the front, the only thing keeping her top in its place. It was tied tightly and securely, but that didn’t excuse it from the possibility of unraveling. Heat rose to her face. She flinched as he tugged, averting her eyes away from his gaze.

“I-idiot, don’t do that.” She half-heartedly tried to swat his hand away. “We’re in public… _D… do you want me to kill you or something…!?_ ”

He halted, looking at her with an unreadable expression. He rose his head and stood straight, offering his hand out to her.

“… Right then, so do you want to ride the Ferris wheel as the last activity for this date?”

She stared at his hand, unbelieving with how he merely shrugged it off. True to what he claimed, she didn’t really have any undergarments on. It was an impulsive decision when she had been changing into her date outfit. At that moment that morning, she’d felt frisky, as though wanting to surprise him in some secretive way. But all throughout the day, the sheer fabric chafed over her lady part.

_It was uncomfortable._

But it _does_ excite her quite a bit knowing that he’s well-aware of her little impropriety.

She accepted his hand.

“ _A-alright_ , Chihuahua... Let’s go to Ferris Wheel.”

* * *

The orange sky was melding into night, dusk began to settle in the stratosphere. Murmurs around them were talking about an upcoming fireworks display, but all were being drowned out by the obnoxious scheming of the trio just a few meters away from them.

They somehow found the three of them standing in line for the Ferris Wheel as well, loudly talking without a hint of awareness. _At least they no longer carried their snipers._

_“Man, where the hell are those two? We’ve been looking all day. Let’s hope we can find them from the view of the Ferris wheel before they elope to who-knows-where.”_

_“Gin-san, remember?”_ Soyo softly giggled. _“They’re on a date.”_

_“Yeah, yeah. Dates are all well and good, but this whole romantic atmosphere is the last thing we want. We can’t have them have unprotected sex now, can we!?”_

Shinpachi violently nodded.

_“Oh Gin-san, Shinpachi-kun, she’s fine; they’re both adults. Besides, Gin-san, you seemed to have had that ‘romantic atmosphere’ as well when we bumped into Tsukuyo-san earlier.”_

_“H-Hime-sama!? Y-you’ve been mistaken. Do you have eyesight problems!? We need to get you a new pair of glasses! Patsuan give her yours!”_

_“Why should I do that!?”_

_Now he understands where China gets her tsundere tendencies from._

It was a good thing that they were barely paying attention to their surroundings though, oblivious to the fact that the two people they were looking for were just a few rows behind them. _Thank god for the holiday_ —the abundance of red made it easier for them to blend in with the crowd.

_But he should’ve known things wouldn’t be that easy for them._

Suddenly, the princess turned her head, smiling ever-so _innocently,_ making eye contact with the two. They both went stiff, but were unable to avert their gazes by the unlucky reality of them finally getting caught as though they were hiders playing a game of hide-and-seek. But while Gintoki went on a tangent about his denials, the princess remained her eyes on them, giving a silent giggle and a thumbs up.

… _What on Earth?_

She mouthed, _‘good luck’_ to them. He became even more confused.

Just then, from the corner of their eyes, they saw the old retainer of the Tokugawa family, Rotten Maizou, approaching the line. He seems to be fetching the princess.

_“Alright, good-bye then, Gin-san, Shinpachi-kun! Today was fun, but my bodyguard shift is over. Good luck, you two!”_

_“Right then, adieu, princess. And thanks.”_

The princess then winked at the couple before continuing to bid the two other ‘ _bodyguards’_ good-bye. She quietly smiled at her camera before walking further away, leaving Kagura and Sougo sporting almost identical, sarcastic deadpans, simultaneously pondering about what the devious princess had planned for them.

As the ride attendants began instructing the crowd to fill up the seats, Sougo noticed that the Ferris wheel cars were all _enclosed,_ encased specifically in what seemed to be a _mirror_ … _Perhaps,_ _a one-way mirror…_ _No wonder light kept shining in his eyes all day long._

He watched several pairs occupy the cars one by one, _Gintoki and Shinpachi included;_ the doors close, and suddenly the passengers were hidden away from everyone’s sight. He pondered deeply upon this revelation. _That would mean him and China would be alone inside the car, free to do as they please, hidden from public eye._

He gulped, _getting hard all of a sudden._

Kagura tugged on his sleeve. “Sadist, what the hell has gotten you so distracted? It’s our turn to get inside a car.”

“… Oh. Sorry, I was just thinking of the face you’d make every time you vomit.”

_“What was that!?”_

“ _Um…_ You are Kagura and Okita-san, right?”

They both turned to the ride operator, a man with a gentle, yet unremarkable face. She made a sound of confirmation to the man’s question, slightly confused.

“Well what a perfect coincidence, this ride is specifically for you two.” He gestured to the seemingly innocuous car. “A VIP specifically ordered to have the windows for the Ferris wheel changed for today, and this cart in particular has a present left for you inside. Well now, enjoy.”

They were both left dumbfounded; he couldn’t believe the cunning princess had taken great lengths to set them up for a private moment (even _if_ she was included in the nuisance). They took a moment to stare at the car before wordlessly climbing in.

The ride rocked just a bit as he stepped his foot in, Kagura following behind him. They found a heart-shaped box at the right side of the seating. He immediately picked it up and opened it— _it was his unfinished box of chocolate-covered strawberries, with a note inside._

“What’s inside the box?” The girl in front of him asked. _Why she chose to sit on the opposite end though, he’d no clue._

The note said _‘You weren’t able to finish your gift from Kagura-chan earlier today, but I hope these strawberries taste sweeter now that you two are alone! Lots of love, Soyo.’_ But he chose not to say any of it; instead, he crumpled the note and threw it outside right as their car door closed.

“It’s nothing, the princess just gave me the leftovers I wasn’t able to finish.”

“ _Weak samurai stomach,_ I knew I should’ve eaten half of it.”

“ _Oi,_ that’ll just be a half-assed present filled with half-assed love then.”

“Better than having half-assed hunger.”

“What the hell does that even mean.”

_The Ferris Wheel then began to move._

Now, they were _really_ alone.

Well, as alone as they were allowed to be. While it was reflective on the outside, the windows were indefinitely transparent on the inside. But he was willing to ignore all of that.

Now that they were enclosed inside the car, her aromatic, sugary and strawberry scent flared upon his nostrils once again. Her fragrance became trapped inside the space, the intoxicating flavor wafting through the air. He relaxed his body on his seat while she sat stiff over on her side of the vehicle, looking over the landscape below them. Under the theme park luminescence and the natural light of the indigo sky, she looked ever-so lovely in her signature color, like she was strawberry, _like she was dessert._ And his body was _craving_ for it.

“… I have a curfew, by the way.”

Her voice thinly sliced through his one-sided tension.

“… Yeah?”

“… Yeah… I need to be home before eight. Gin-chan’s maternal instincts have been getting more intense lately for some reason…”

“Maybe he’s PMS-ing?”

“ _Sadist._ The correct question to ask is, _‘maybe he’s been deprived of chocolates too long.’_ ”

“Isn’t that sugary shit pretty much what women crave for when they’re on their periods?”

“Idiot _… And you said men don’t get pregnant._ ”

“Well, maybe becoming your _‘mother’_ has changed _Danna_ in more ways than one.”

She playfully rolled her eyes, leaning against the window. “You’re not even making sense anymore, dummy.”

“That doesn’t matter. _Besides,_ you’ve already given Danna chocolates this morning.”

“Yeah, I suppose so… I gave you one too, didn’t you like them enough to finish it?”

“I did, but they were bitter.”

She straightened in her seat. “ _Bitter?_ How?”

“It would’ve been better if _you_ were my Valentine’s day chocolate.”

“… What exactly are you trying to say here, Sadist?”

He looked at her intensely, the padlocked space stirring up a more enigmatic air. The dusk sky bathed her with minimal light as silence consumed them. She looked to be anticipating his actions.

“What I’m trying to say is, you looked and smelled like _dessert_ , and I wanted to take you home today. But now I know _that_ isn’t going to happen.”

He took a strawberry from the box, slowly biting down on the chocolate covered end while he looked at her, back slouched against his seat. He gulped it down, licking his lips right after. “Why don’t you try and feed me one of these, huh, China? For your _boyfriend_?”

She tried to conceal the disbelief on her face upon his request; even if her expression changed for just a fraction of a second, he still saw it. He smirked as she sighed.

“You always think you can demand whatever you want, don’t you? _You’re not a helpless brat,_ I’m not gonna turn into a masochist for you, you damn _Sadist_.” She said, swiftly gliding over from her side of the seating and onto his lap. The car rocked a bit.

With one hand, he gripped onto her waist, angling their bodies better. “Maybe not a _masochist_ , but maybe you can still be my M. _M as in maid_.”

“You are unbelievable _thick_. Why don’t you try and listen to your girlfriend for once?” She then proceeded to swipe the fruit from his hand, eating the remaining end in one big bite. He gave her a look. “What? I was hungry.”

_Of course she was._

She then placed a hand on his shoulder, her other hand aiming for the box settled beside him. A piece of strawberry was taken out from the box, the chocolate covering it already half-melted at that point.

“ _But…_ since you were a fairly cooperative boyfriend today, _I suppose I can give you a little reward._ ”

“Sadists like me _give_ the rewards, China doll. What are you playing at here?”

“ _Oh Chihuahua,_ I’m pretty sure you’re aware that, _I’m_ a sadist too…”

Without uttering any other word, she drew the strawberry close to her lips, drops of fondue dripping onto her fingers like melted wax. It's stem and leaves were half-hazardly removed. _He watched her_ —her azure eyes filling itself with pools of lust and hunger.

“How much time do we have?”

“Fifteen minutes I believe.”

She hummed. Then she put the fruit in between her teeth, lightly biting on the bigger end.

He responded by licking her stained hands for her, cleaning her slender fingers as she watched him, the strawberry remaining in between her teeth, a trickle of chocolate teasing for it to fall. Her eyes were telling him to hurry it up.

He kissed her palm as he finished. _“Impatient.”_

He then landed his hand at the back of her neck, gently pushing her nape so that her face was only inches away from his. _She's close_ , so close that the strawberry's tip finally touched his lips, the syrupy chocolate exploding in his mouth. When she pressed further, he had no choice but to begin biting on it, and then eating it inch by inch as though they were playing their own brand of the _pocky game_.  
  
He hadn't even finished what was left of his end when she abruptly pecked him on his lips, diving in for a deeper taste. They sucked on each other's mouths, the remnants of strawberries and chocolates infiltrating their taste buds as their salivas mixed sensuously. In unison, they fumbled to remove each other’s tops—her fingers clumsily unbuttoning his shirt, _while him on the other hand,_ all he needed to do was untie the ribbon of her top, and the silk fabric just comes sliding right off, _something he’d been wanting to do the moment he laid eyes on her._  
  
Their lips were still intact when he managed to grab yet another one. She made a stifled moan when he began rolling melted fudge all over her pale clavicle using the scarlet fruit. She automatically removed her arms from her sleeves, letting the fabric pool on her waist.

He then broke the kiss, bending down to her chest to clean her with his tongue. She trembled on his lap, fisting her hand on his flaxen hair. The sensation of him licking her sensitive skin off of any signs of chocolate almost dulled her senses into a state of pure pleasure.

When he began sucking on her neck though, she jolted, and abruptly slapped a hand on his shoulder.

_“What the hell, China!?”_

“ _Don’t do that!_ My shoulders are completely visible, Gin-chan might see them!”

“I’m sure _Danna_ won’t care about seeing a hickey or two on a consenting adult.”

_“If you do that, I won’t let you kiss me for a month.”_

“… _Fine._ Geez, woman.”

He then continued _licking_ , quickly coming back to their sensual tempo as if nothing happened. He rested his hand on her bare back as he begun to suck on her soft mounds, _groping one, while he flicked and teased the other with his tongue_. She stifled a moan when he began peppering wet kisses on the juncture of her neck. After he finished, he brought his mouth back to her lips, kissing her, rough and electric and delicious. And then her tongue was in his mouth. They kissed messily and passionately, as though they were minutes away from getting caught in their little rendezvous.

She pressed herself on his crotch while they kissed; he groaned, pushing her tight skirt up to her waist. She instinctively rose up, kneeling with her knees on each side of his thighs. He broke their kiss again, his eyes slowly darting to her exposed crotch, finding her truly _panty-less_ under her sheer black stockings.

While he let himself get distracted by the sight of her, she’d already gotten another strawberry. She held it by the leaves, raising it in between their mouths, the melting chocolate coating their swollen lips. He looked at her. She looked at him. Then she began licking it, and he did the same. Thus, began their second makeshift eating competition. With eyes closed, he licked and bit on the strawberry, careful not to let the chocolate drip onto their clothes and on the seating.

Then their lips met again. He allowed herself to get immersed in her strawberry and vanilla lips while his hands traveled to her ass. He cupped her perfectly round buttocks. Her toes curled from his touch, her hands finding their way to grip onto his broad shoulders. His hands stayed by the cross area of her nylons, curling his fingers on the thin fabric. And without warning, _proceeded to rip her stockings apart._

She surprisingly didn’t complain about her destroyed nylons. _Instead_ , she whispered into his lips, demanding him to unbuckle his belt right at that second.

He wasted no time in complying, removing his belt and unzipping his pants in an instant, all while their lips stayed glued together. He then dragged his pants and boxers down to his knees, revealing his hardened manhood before her.

His tip touched her already wet cunt, but before he could enter, she’d hastily pulled her black purse from the other seat, getting a condom out from inside it.

“Just so no one can complain about us having ‘unprotected sex.’”

He wordlessly watched her roll the latex down on his shaft. His mind raced as the interference continued, subconsciously remembering the time. _Seven minutes have passed; they have eight more minutes to go._

After the fact, she rested her palms on his shoulders for support as she slowly brought herself lower on his erection. He looked at her _intensely._ He regretted not bringing a camera with him at that moment, _because the face she was making deserved to be put on a frame._

She gasped when he fully-sheathed himself inside her, breathing hard. She looked over to him with her half-lidded gaze, a demure look in her eyes—and he swears, _he thought he was seeing hearts on her alluring irises._ Her expression was incredible.

Then she began to move, grinding on his cock expertly. When she began to slowly thrust herself up and down on him, he decided not to move, enjoying the way her breasts moved to the motion of her thrusts.

She was extremely careful not to rock the car with her thrusting, doing it concise and slowly. While their hot breaths mixed inside the space, Sougo mused over their dirty little deed. Somehow, it got his blood _rushing_ , knowing that while they were in confined space away overseeing eyes, they were still very much in a public place. _But the fact that it’s just them, without anybody else to berate them for the act… is such a damn turn-on._

When Kagura decided to quicken her pace, he rocked her ass to assist her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her chest against his, _moaning in labored breaths, “Hah… H-how much time… do we have left…?”_

 _The wheel had gone around a total of two times already_ — _they were about to reach the top of the ride for the third and final time._ A bead of sweat dropped from his brow as he panted, answering, _“five minutes.”_

She nodded, kissing him sharply. _He responded with much vigor._

In that exact moment when their lips met, fireworks suddenly exploded outside, startling their senses and coloring the night sky with bright flames.

The shock forced him into a release, the condom filling with his cum, the surplus seeping onto his naked thighs. He panted, gripping her hips tightly. She exhaled, whispering into his lips, her eyes reflecting a myriad of colors. “Happy Valentine’s Day, _idiot._ Be happy you won’t have to sleep with a boner tonight.”

He whispered back, “I can always kidnap you from your house.”

“Why are you still part of the police?”

“Because I’m your boyfriend. An illegal immigrant needs a policeman to keep them in check.”

“I’m not _illegal_ anymore, you bastard.” Then she laughed. _“It seems your logic just keeps getting worse than Gin-chan’s, Sadist.”_

“Can you blame me? We just had a quickie; I can’t think straight with your boobs up on my face.”

“Fine, you baby. It’s time to clean ourselves up anyway.”

“Are you for real?”

_She deadpanned._

“We have three minutes left, genius.”

_“… Is that a challenge?”_

She gave him a look, him giving her a sly smirk as he brought a lock of her tied hair in front of his lips. Her vermillion tresses smelled liked strawberries, and suddenly he was hard again.

_“I can do a lot in three minutes, China Doll…”_

* * *

True to his words, he was able to do _a lot_ in three minutes.

He went down on her, gave her mind-blowing oral sex, and managed to fuck her twice over, all in under _three minutes._ _They even had thirty seconds to spare. He amazes her sometimes._

So there she was now, fresh in her post-coital state as she fixed herself—checking for any wrinkles on her clothes, checking her hair, checking her face. Nothing seemed to be out of place despite having just finished sex fifteen seconds prior. Though, even _if_ her skirt managed to cover it, it just dawned on her that her stockings had been utterly _destroyed. She was a little pissed at him for that one; now she’d been compelled to having her bare sex be subjected to the cold wind outside, that bastard._

“China.”

She looked over to him, sat on her right—he was leaning against the window, looking below—and she briefly wondered how he managed to look as though nothing just happened. She supposes that was a good thing anyway, the last thing they want is for her _‘dads’_ to suspect them of doing the nasty _(which they did anyway)._

“It seems your _perm_ and _glasses dad_ have found us.”

As if hit with a wave of panic, she glanced around, all too aware of the transparency of the windows, all of a sudden.

“Relax, they can’t see us from the outside; _look down there_.”

She hit his chest.

“Idiot, be clearer next time.”

She leaned over him, gazing below them and finding Gintoki and Shinpachi chatting with the ride operator from earlier, shades on their eyes, arms crossed, and glancing at their car every now and then. She relaxed back into her seat, finding herself indifferent with their ‘situation.’

“Looks like I’ll be going home after this ride, Chihuahua.”

He tilted his neck, displaying his sexy neck veins to her. _“Aw, date’s over?”_

She gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “ _’Guess so._ ”

Their car then stopped, finding her chaperones standing before their vehicle. The door opened and they stepped outside, him throwing the box and the used condom into a nearby trash bin, quick enough for them not to notice.

Gintoki coughed into his fist. “… Looks like we finally found you two… Time to go home, Kagura.”

“Man, _Danna_. You sure do a shitty job as China’s bodyguard.”

The man shook his fist, “ _bastard._ Keep talking or I won’t bless your relationship!”

Sougo shrugged, turning to his girlfriend. “Well that’s about it, China. Good night.”

“But it’s only six-thirty?”

_“It’s still time to go home!”_

“You heard the boss, China. Go home.”

“Aren’t you gonna give me a good-bye kiss, at least?”

_“Public kissing is not allowed!”_

She felt a vein pop.

_“You’re so lame, Megane!”_

“ _Well,”_ he said. “if that’s what you want…”

He cupped her face, landing a soft kiss on her cheek. Just then, a second batch of fireworks exploded in the sky, _a giant one,_ in the shape of a heart. His kiss was fleeting and chaste, but enough to make her face blush a bright pink _(enough to make Gintoki and Shinpachi black out too, it seems)._ He’s a bastard for being good at everything he does—they’ve just fucked and his sweet kisses still managed to fill her stomach with butterflies.

He leaned into her ears. _“Thanks for the date, China. Best Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a while.”_

 _“As it should. You spent it with the great Kagura-sama, after all.”_ She beamed, turning to watch the vibrant fireworks display in clear view beside him.

After everything’s been said and done, she supposes the day didn’t turn out as bad as she’d initially thought. It was spent in a familiar way, joined with the shenanigans of her beloved cast of friends. Though they’ve been constantly interrupted, they managed to seep their reward in the end.

And if she’s willing to argue— _if Gintoki gets to gush over the weather lady, and Shinpachi is free to fanboy over his idol_ _,_ then of course _she_ should be allowed to have a sadistic prince all to herself and end up _victorious_. After all, _that_ was the kind of heroine she was.

_Unapologetically resolute._

_After the dust settles, the queen of Kubiko-cho always gets what she wants._

_Always._

**Author's Note:**

> surprise surprise, it's yet again another festival-type fic! it also has some kind of food involved again. why? idk. haha wait a sec, do i have a food kink??? 😭😭
> 
> anyway, i think i've become a little too attached to gintama's comedy. dunno if i did it right tho, i feel like they were ooc af
> 
> btw, thank you so much for all the kudos and comments on kanamara matsuri! 😭 it's a little surreal to think that 72 people liked it enough to give it a kudos. like honestly that is a whole freaking lot my dude. that's more than the amount of students in a single classroom AHHH I LOVE Y'ALLLL 😵😵💗💖💞💕💗💖💞💕
> 
> ... also, i kinda draw stuff, pretty please follow my art account @blushypeachyart on instagram! i posted a drawing about this fanfic there, so... yeah ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
> 
> happy late valentine's day! ଘ(੭ꈍᵕꈍ)੭°˖ ੈ♡‧₊˚ and thank you so super duper much for readinggg! ily :D <333


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